Love

In September I started going to Bible Study Fellowship with my mother-in-law Cheryl and mutual friend Melissa. If you are interested in BSF I encourage you to check out their site and read up on their mission. This is my first year going to BSF and my first time ever doing a true in depth study of the bible. Yes, I went to bible study in college, but this study forces you to delve deep into His word. I was and still am intimidated, but every Monday evening I leave with a good feeling and something learned. 

Last Monday was especially convicting. 

The speaker started out the discussion by using an analogy between dogs and people. And if you know anything at all about me it is that I love dogs. 

She went on to say that God wants us to love people. He wants us to love people even more than dogs! I kind of felt my heart sink. 

I often times joke that I like dogs more than most people. Dogs have so many good qualities. They are loyal to the core. Dogs give best bear hugs. They give you unconditional love. They are always there for you. Dogs are always happy. My dogs will be just as excited to see me if I am having the worst day or the best day. They don't care if I come home a hot mess. Dogs do not hold grudges. They do not argue, although they sure can be stubborn. Dogs do not get mad at you for going on a shopping spree. Heck, they don't even get mad at you for being gone all day and leaving them home alone. They look out the window and wag their little tails or bodies like crazy as soon as your car pulls up into the driveway. 

That little statement got me thinking about how much more God wants me to love people. He is not telling me to love dogs less He is just telling me to love people more. 

Jesus showed love to everyone. His love is a lot of the love of dog's that I talked about earlier. He loves no matter what and all the time. 

Y'all, people are hard to love. People can be mean and snarky. People are rude. People can be hateful. 

BUT, if we want to have a heart like Jesus we have to show those people love. 

This is going to be a life long lesson for me, but it is a great reminder. God's people are His treasure. He treasures each of us. What makes us think that we shouldn't treasure each other if He thinks so highly of us? It is just crazy. 

So instead of holding on to my anger or sadness or whatever I may be feeling I am going to try to show people love every time. I am not going to hide my feelings, no I don't think that is what He wants either. He wants us to love despite all the feelings. 

Next time my husband walks in the door I am going to try to be there jumping up and down with my dogs at the door. And I am going to try to show him love when we both have had bad days because sometimes all a person needs it a little pat on the back or scratch of the ear... wait that's just a dog huh? :) 

Easter

     Easter is a special holiday. It is a holiday that should be celebrated daily, but as life happens it sometimes does not. Easter brings GREAT news! The tomb is empty and our Christ is Risen! He is alive!

This Easter we took Griffey on his first road trip to west Texas for a family reunion. We ate way too much candy... I may or may not be still eating that. I was able to love on almost all of my babies, only missing my Oklahoma babies! We ate good food. Told old stories. Laughed. Had fun. Dyed eggs. Hunted eggs. Had a water gun fight. 

Being an Aunt is the best! I really don't know what I would do without those babies. They bring so much joy and light into life. The sacrifice Jesus made for me almost unimaginable. He died on the cross for me! Thankful is the understatement of the year. I am so grateful for this life He has given me. 

Maddyn has the best expressions!

Sparkling Green Earrings- Melanie Shankle

This book is similar to "A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet" in that is a book written by a southern mom and full of wisdom. This book showed up on my Kindle recommended list after reading another one of Big Mama's books (Antelope in the Living Room). Oh yeah, Big Mama is Melanie Shankle... I hope I have a cool nickname like that sometime in this life of mine. 

Anyways, this book is basically gold. It is chalk full of realism, wisdom, and hilarity. I know I am not a mother yet, but I think this book is just a little glimpse into the life of motherhood. I highlighted basically the whole book and journaled my favorite excerpts.  I want to share those with you, who am I kidding I want to share these mostly with myself since I am the one who reads this jibber jabber. 

"Real motherhood is different.  It's better and its messier and it's more complicated. It will break your heart and make you laugh harder than you ever imagined. You find yourself alternating between feeling like your friends talked you into some pyramid scheme so you could share in their misery and thinking this is the most fulfilling thing you've ever done in your life."- Big Mama

Love those words. I hope I can remember them when I step into the season of motherhood. Life is messy, complicated, and awesome! 

Just like Boo Mama, Big Mama has the ability to throw some words at you that really hit you in the gut...well at least they did for me. 

1st world problem- Oh, we can't have a baby right now because we have to go to Colorado and ski, then to Italy to tour.... Hello it's not our plan! God is in control! God works on His timetable not ours! 

Wow... those words were like a punch in the gut. I find myself saying that crap to not only myself but actually out loud to people sometimes. How incredibly selfish am I to think that I am going to plan when we actually have a baby when the only reason I am even here today is that its God's plan? Yep, Big Mama got it right when she said 1st world problem. 

"God doesn't always answer prayers as we expect- - He answers better!"

Super thankful for that truth... God's plan is always immeasurably better than my plan! There's that phrase again, I just love it! I need to write it on my walls. 

Big Mama also had a specific verse that she prayed over for her baby- Isaiah 44:3-5. 

"He may take away the Earthly things we look to for comfort and security so that we can feel Him better and love Him more." 

"He takes our disappointments, rejections, and hard times, and he makes something beautiful. He creates life and shows us what beauty looks like in places where we look and see nothing."

"He blesses us beyond our imaginations, in spite of all the broken roads we've walked. He reminds u that he sees us-nut just for who we are at any given moment, but for what we could be one day."

Woo wee... those three truths are huge! 

Big Mama reminds us through the stories of her baby girl that the "days are long, but the years are short".

"Looking back the sweetest things are often the hardest."

Big Mama said that "having a child was the beginning of a glimpse into the kind of love Christ has for us. Sacrificial love. Love that doesn't keep score. Love that isn't dependent on whats in it for me. Love that is consuming and protective and unconditional."

Y'all, just a glimpse into the love Christ has for us, that is HUGE! I am not even a mom, but I know the kind of love my mom has for me and the kind of love my sister in laws have for their kids. That kind of love is fierce. 

Big Mama shares her prayer for the future and I just couldn't and haven't been able to shake it. "I want to be home. I want to have time to bake cookies and haze lazy morning watching Bert & Ernie with a snuggle girl in pajamas who was;t going to be little forever". Yes and Amen are my thoughts on that. 

"Kids- we like to believe they are better versions of us, but the truth is, they are us." If that statement doesn't make you want to be the best person you can be then I don't know what's wrong with you. I see that truth every time I am around my nieces and nephews and sister and brother in laws. 

"God gives us these raw, little people, and we have to form them and mold them and teach them how to operate in society. And if we get a glimpse of all the ugliness that lies right beneath our own polished surface? Thats a humbling lesson."

"Having bad manners is worse than having no money"- Suzanne Sugerabaker, but maybe can take a cue from the toddlers and not filter out all the real parts.- Big Mama

--I told you this book was full of gold!-- more wisdom ahead!

"The kids aren't going to get it right every time, but neither are we. Our job as mothers is to do the best we can to teach our children that life is better and friendships are richer when we treat others with kindness, when we use nice words, and remember to share. To remember that people have a few cracks in their hearts even if we can't see them and that love is always the best response."

**Trust God... Jump into the deep end with Him!

"You will never be fully prepared. Only the reality of doing something every day prepares you for what it is really like." 

Well if that isn't another shot in the gut I don't know what is... This truth is something I need taped to my forehead. 

"You can't give your kids perfection- thats where the grace of God enters and he fills the gaps". - such a comforting statement 

"God can't take us anywhere if we keep clinging to little bits of the past".

Big Mama stated that God's theme in her life tended to be "like ok you're in the comfort zone let's keep moving". I think we have all probably heard that God does most of his work in growing you when you are out of your comfort zone, but boy is it hard to listen sometimes. At least for me it is... if it's not for you I need to read your book.

"Sometimes the best families are the ones God builds using unexpected pieces of our hearts."

"Motherhood gives us the first true flips of how God loves us. The kind of love that is irrevocable, unrelenting, unconditional. It's the closest humans get to living out 1 Corinthians 13. Motherhood is a Holy Communion with goldfish crackers and juice boxes". 

"Nothing survives when it's being smothered. Life, real life, requires being free to move about in the great big ocean, not being cradled in little hot hands that will stifle independence and creativity. We can't keep our kids in a bucket and expect them to go far."

"Raising a child is a fleeting moment in time that sometimes gets swallowed up in the daily routine of car pools and soccer practice and it is the most important thing we will do. It's the daily balance of treasuring the moments even as we wish some of them away. It's treading water in a sea of imperfections. It's a delicate balance of guilt and joy."

Daniel 112:3 "...Shine bright." Prayer for the babies!

** When we loosen our grip he tightens His.

"He doesn't make mistakes. He loves unconditionally. His plans and purposes are perfect. He created her/him with a purpose and a plan for this time, this generation." - for the babies

"God is always there. Watching, catching, loving, and molding her into the person she was created to be. She's safer in His group than she'll ever be in mine."

A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet- Sophia Hudson

Also known as, one of my most favorite easy reads ever! My mother-in-law stumbled upon Miss Boo Mama's blog and soon after told me to read this book ASAP. I remember reading it right after finishing up my first semester of graduate school when I thought I was going to die and the last thing I wanted to do was read. But, boy was I wrong. I am so glad I read this book and now I read everything that is written by her or any of her friends. They make me laugh and I kind of just want to be them sometimes.

Some of my favorite things that Miss Sophie wrote I highlighted and jotted down in my journal and want to remember forever. Miss Sophie is a hoot and a half (I think that would be a phrase she would say) and she is a lovely southern gal so you can't help but love her. These are her words, not mine, I just wanted to write them down for my memory and because y'all need to read this book!

"The welcome mat is out, the crazy is on full display, and there's always room for one more around our table." - the southerner's motto

I want to remember and keep this motto in mind- ya know you can't ever have too many bodies at a dinner table. Speaking of which... I can't wait to have an actual dinner table!

Love... is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask and receive from God.- C.S. Lets

Boy am I glad we receive grace from God because He knows I need it.... a lot of it. My love habits sometimes a lot of the time stink.

"Life with kids: fun and fulfilling, it can be an also and a choice. "- wow Miss Sophie way to open my eyes... so you're telling me having kids can be a definitive choice or just an also. Way to make this baby fever/pusher awayer? open her eyes.

"Having a wedding is easy, being married is hard". Enough said.

"God is so much better than I deserve"- AMEN sister!

Miss Sophie was talking about Ephesians 3:20-21 as she was talking about her plans vs. God's plans. God's plans are "immeasurably more" and I just love that phrase. God prepares you for it even when it's nowhere on your to do list. That God of ours, sure am thankful for Him.

...Learned to listen and to laugh, to forgive, some Earthly love is unconditional God is always at work in the day to day.

"Sometimes the Lord has to take us back to a place we've been so He can remind us how far we've come."

Good news- He can meet us anywhere.

Miss Sophie states that "the character of a marriage is forged in the difficult times when you're grappling with heartbreak or illness or disappointment or even betrayal."

She spoke about a specific verse that she prayed over for her baby and I think I highlighted and circled that verse twice. Ephesians 3:16-19

She also stated a simple fact of life- "Southerners love their grandmothers"! Yes they do!

God is always doing something the very best thing, the thing we ourselves would certainly choose if we knew the end from the beginning He is at work to bring us to our full glory- Elisabeth Elliot

His plan is always greater than our plans.

Remember the Lord's goodness. Say it out loud. Thank Him for what He has done for you in the past. Make a list of what you've seen Him do in your life. Speak it. Remember.

I haven't done this yet, but writing down here again makes me want to do this.

"Life isn't always easy sometimes you will get your feelings hurt, sometimes you may even be the one who does the hurting, but you stay with it. And you get after it, and you love each other, and you forgive, and you keep coming back to the table."

Sometimes I don't want to go back to the table, but life is beautiful even when its messy so Miss Sophie's statement is a good reminder to keep on trucking.

**"At the dinner table the Lord gets to work. He knits together our hearts, strengthens our bonds, and connects our narratives. The table is where he links generations, where he prompts us t join hands and bow head and remember and laugh and pass our stories back and forth to each other."

I have always loved family dinners and I think I have figured out why... As Miss Sophie says, the table is where God is doing work!

Christmas is coming!

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. I love the lights, the trees, the joy, and so much more! However, since becoming a Christian this holiday season means SO much more. God sent His one and only Son to Earth. He sent his beloved child to be born to a virgin woman. He sent His boy to this hurtful, scary, and sometimes horrible world for me. He did that for us. Christ is born and for that I am forever thankful.

Last year was my first year to do any type of advent and I chad bought the Naptime Diaries calendar. I loved it and came back for this years! This years advent is even better, it comes with the cards (that are so pretty and awesome) as well as a journal. Y'all should go check it out if you haven't already.

I can't wait for all that comes with this season. With that said, here is my decor that I put up in our little home this year.

This is the ornament we got in Disney World... the date is the day we got engaged!

every vacation we get an ornament and they are so much fun to see each year

This ornament I made from my wedding bouquet. The picture was on my bouquet and is my Uncle Jackie who has passed. 

 I tried taking pictures with Deuce in front of the tree... That turned out just as well as you would imagine!

On My Heart

    Today I decided to link up with Casey over at The Wiegands and share what is on my heart.

    My freshmen year of college at Oklahoma State University I took the normal core classes that every students takes. However, only God could have planned what would happen in my college algebra class. It was a great semester... I actually really enjoyed algebra and my professor made the class interesting and fun. At the end of the semester Nacoe, the professor, gave a little speech about her faith and the Christian walk and encouraged everyone in the class to think about it. (I don't remember exactly what she said... that was almost 4 years ago)

Now, let me back up... I grew up in a fantastic southern family. We did not go to church, but I was able to go with friends every now and then when I would want to. I grew up knowing of our creator, but I did not have a personal relationship with Him. My parents did not want to push religion or anything onto my sister and I. So, I never really knew the ins and outs of Christianity.

Nacoe's speech on our last day of class really got me thinking. I felt that I should email her and figure out why her words were so heavy on my heart. After Christmas break that year... 2010-2011 I did just that. It was a new semester so I did not have her as a professor any longer and she actually was not even teaching at OSU that Spring. But, she randomly checked her OSU email and got in touch with me.

We started meeting at a local coffee shop. She walked me through the book of John in the Bible. She prayed for me. It was life changing. My view point of the world was completely different. I now felt this overwhelming love, support, and encouragement. I met Jesus Christ through my college algebra teacher in a coffee shop in Stillwater, Oklahoma. 

I continued to meet individually with Nacoe the rest of the semester and I was welcomed into her small group. This small group was made up of beautiful and intelligent girls that will forever hold a place in my heart. They may not know it, but I learned so much from just listening to them talk. Our bible study continued throughout that year and in the summer of 2011 I chose to be Baptized. In church there had been several message about baptism and it seemed that every time I opened my Bible there would be a passage about baptism. Coincidence? I think not. Definitely God's Providence.

I asked Nacoe if she would baptize me and she of course said yes! I made the trip back up to Stillwater to proclaim Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior in front of my family, her family, Cameron, and the Church.

I wrote this mainly because I felt the need to share my story. I also want to remember the details and just how beautiful this day was. I am so thankful for Nacoe and for God placing me in her class. I now know that I went to OSU to meet her because through her I found Him.

The One & The Two

 
    I started this book by Craig Groeschel a couple months ago. I have not finished it because I have a hard time finding the time to read anything that is not a psychology textbook. Anyways, so far I have really enjoyed this book. It is super informative and you can totally hear his humor in the words. If yall have not read or listened to Craig you need to... he is the lead pastor at Life Church and he has written a handful of books.

I decided to read this book simply because it the title says "Preparing for a marriage that goes the distance". Hello... that is what we all want right? I really wish I would have read this book years ago... The first 7 chapters explain the importance of finding the one the right way. Craig is very open and candid with his story and testimony and he explains that he was the "player" in high school and college. He also explained how to break up with the "wrong" person and what not to do while dating... all things that would have been helpful in my younger years.

He emphasized order... Order matters, he states that "doing some things in the right order is essential for spiritual success". The very first priority that we should have is to Love the Lord as stated in Matthew 22:36-39. He goes on to say that without Jesus in first place {The One} the things that come next will never really work. This is why in my last post I mentioned Cam as my two and Christ as my One. That is the truth. I did not mean it in a rude or downgrading way...

Jesus is THE ONE! He is the person we should all reach out to FIRST. He is THE ONE and the ONlY ONE who will COMPLETE your soul. This really imprinted on my heart... I know that Jesus is ALWAYS the one we should call out to first, but in reality that is not what I always do. So, I have really been trying to do this more. I have been trying to turn to God first. He is THE ONE for me. He is also THE ONE for Cam. Jesus Christ is the ONLY ONE that is able to complete us.

We only love because He FIRST loved us. 1 John 4:19.

We have to receive His love before we can give any love to anyone. Craig says "His love must overtake you, envelop you, and fill you". I love this. Those words are so eloquent and truthful... seriously gives me chills.

The only way that I can fully love Cam is to fully love God. I must give Him my 100%...He wants all of it... Yall that is crazy... Our Lord wants all of me the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Back to the lesson about The Two... Craig explains that our commitment to the One and our commitment to our Two are "intricately bound together". Loving the One is critically important to finding happiness with your Two. And loving your Two is one of the best ways to love the One.

So maybe I did not do the whole order thing the right way... but I found my One and I have found my Two. The more I learn about Jesus and the more I become like Him the deeper I can love Cameron. I think that is the ultimate goal... To love like Jesus and to love Jesus.

I hope to write an additional blog post about the other important points in this book, but I feel like this one is the most important for me.